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If you are anything like me, when you see a really good movie, you think it’s the best movie you ever saw. By the same token, when you see a really bad movie you think it’s the worst movie you ever saw. But over yours and my lifetimes, we probably forget which is really the best or the worst movies. Well for this moment in time, ‘Alexander’ is the winner for the best movie I ever saw!

Parade showing the grandeur of the film

Where do I start when there is so much wrong with this movie? Usually when I go to see a movie I write my review from my memory without the need of notes. For this movie I was so appalled, I pulled business cards from my wallet to take down some of the most egregious things I saw and heard fearing my mind would attempt to block those painful memories by the time I got home!

Angelina Jolie, Val Kilmer and Colin Farrell

Accents! It is hard to imagine that in ancient Greece the ruling and upper classes would speak in Scottish, British and who knows what accents, but they did. Angelina Jolie’s accent varied from none to that of Count Dracula of Transylvania it was so bad it helped to turn this supposed $150 million epic drama.

Angelina Jolie & Colin Farrell

I guess Colin Farrell, Anthony Hopkins, Jared Leto and Rosario Dawson acted just fine but it was hard to see that through the train wreck of the movie. As far as Val Kilmer, he did as well in this film as he does on stage in ‘The Ten Commandments’ and Angelina Jolie was not much better.

A very bloody movie

Make up artists gone wild! The make up artists put so many scars, missing eyes, gouges etc. on most of the actors that it looked like a makeup 101 demonstration class.

Alexander inspects his troops

It is a real shame that the historical truth of such an amazing man as Alexander The Great, a man who had amassed 90% of the known world, the greatest empire the world has ever seen by the time he was 27, a story that I am sure many film goers would be fascinated by, had to deteriorate into a story of mainly bisexuality, violence, invented story lines, inaccurate information, dull drawn out non plot lines, horrible music score and a choppy piecemeal  of talent, money, time and technology.

Bucephalus was Alexander’s favorite horse, he built a city in his honor when he died

Oliver Stone seems to believe his own press and feels the movies he makes are great because they are his movies, he does not seem to care about historical accuracy or quality. Too bad that Hollywood is so easily duped. One thing is for sure, Oliver Stone is no Cecil B. De Mille!

Great horseback riding scenes

I really tried to think of what I liked about the movie other than it finally ended and this is all I could come up with:
Rosario Dawson’s nude scene
The beautiful horses
The wonderful horsemanship
and that’s all folks!

Rosario Dawson

Give me a break! Horse takes on elephant?

Anthony Hopkins narrates

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